life - Lenny Renz

I hope you wake up feeling like you’ve been asleep for a thousand years, but are still tired,

Your blanket is somehow too short and too heavy at the same time,

Your phone charger only works if you hold it at a very specific angle while not breathing,

Your package says “delivered” but is nowhere to be found,

Your Wi-Fi disconnects at 99% every single time,

Your socks get wet for no clear reason,

Your sleeve slides down whenever you wash your hands,

Your alarm goes off but you’re still exhausted,

Your headphones only work in one ear unless you twist the wire just right,

Every chair you sit on makes a noise in a silent room,

Your favorite song always gets interrupted by an ad,

Your food is always slightly too hot or slightly too cold,

You hit every red light when you’re already late,

You forget why you walked into a room,

Your pen runs out of ink mid-sentence,

Your newly bought touchscreen gloves don’t work for the unlock swipe,

The straw in your drink keeps floating up and hitting your nose,

Your screen brightness is never right no matter how much you adjust it,

Your shoelace comes undone right after you tie it,

Your notifications disappear when you tap them,

You miss the last step on the stairs,

Your nose gets itchy when your hands are full,

Your keyboard adds letters you didn’t type,

Your hoodie strings are only through one hole,

Your drink spills just enough to be annoying but not enough to justify cleaning it immediately,

Your phone battery jumps from 20% to 1% in seconds,

Your earbuds tangle themselves while sitting completely still,

The “push” door actually requires a “pull” to enter,

Your glasses smudge the moment you clean them,

Your chair squeaks every time you shift even slightly,

Your sleep position is never comfortable,

Your phone slips out of your hand and lands face-down,

Your app refreshes right when you were about to finish reading,

Your nail catches on fabric repeatedly and makes a small cut in the nail,

Your jacket pocket has crumbs you don’t remember putting there,

Your alarm snoozes itself one too many times,

You open and close that one app like a fridge,

You carry an umbrella all day for nothing, then leave it behind the one day it pours,

Your algorithm is just a feedback loop,

You’re still connected to a Bluetooth speaker at a friend's place and play adult content in the bathroom,

Your T-shirt tag feels like a tiny, itchy saw, but there’s no opportunity to change or cut it off,

Your volume is either too loud or too quiet with no in-between,

You accidentally double-tap a three-year-old photo by someone you have a crush on,

Your spoon slips and disappears entirely in the soup,

The "Unsubscribe" link just leads to a 404 page,

You rip the back of your socks while putting them on,

In a totally dark room, you can’t tell if your eyes are open or closed.

© Lenny Renz, 2026

I hope you wake up feeling like you’ve been asleep for a thousand years, but are still tired,

Your blanket is somehow too short and too heavy at the same time,

Your phone charger only works if you hold it at a very specific angle while not breathing,

Your package says “delivered” but is nowhere to be found,

Your Wi-Fi disconnects at 99% every single time,

Your socks get wet for no clear reason,

Your sleeve slides down whenever you wash your hands,

Your alarm goes off but you’re still exhausted,

Your headphones only work in one ear unless you twist the wire just right,

Every chair you sit on makes a noise in a silent room,

Your favorite song always gets interrupted by an ad,

Your food is always slightly too hot or slightly too cold,

You hit every red light when you’re already late,

You forget why you walked into a room,

Your pen runs out of ink mid-sentence,

Your newly bought touchscreen gloves don’t work for the unlock swipe,

The straw in your drink keeps floating up and hitting your nose,

Your screen brightness is never right no matter how much you adjust it,

Your shoelace comes undone right after you tie it,

Your notifications disappear when you tap them,

You miss the last step on the stairs,

Your nose gets itchy when your hands are full,

Your keyboard adds letters you didn’t type,

Your hoodie strings are only through one hole,

Your drink spills just enough to be annoying but not enough to justify cleaning it immediately,

Your phone battery jumps from 20% to 1% in seconds,

Your earbuds tangle themselves while sitting completely still,

The “push” door actually requires a “pull” to enter,

Your glasses smudge the moment you clean them,

Your chair squeaks every time you shift even slightly,

Your sleep position is never comfortable,

Your phone slips out of your hand and lands face-down,

Your app refreshes right when you were about to finish reading,

Your nail catches on fabric repeatedly and makes a small cut in the nail,

Your jacket pocket has crumbs you don’t remember putting there,

Your alarm snoozes itself one too many times,

You open and close that one app like a fridge,

You carry an umbrella all day for nothing, then leave it behind the one day it pours,

Your algorithm is just a feedback loop,

You’re still connected to a Bluetooth speaker at a friend's place and play adult content in the bathroom,

Your T-shirt tag feels like a tiny, itchy saw, but there’s no opportunity to change or cut it off,

Your volume is either too loud or too quiet with no in-between,

You accidentally double-tap a three-year-old photo by someone you have a crush on,

Your spoon slips and disappears entirely in the soup,

The "Unsubscribe" link just leads to a 404 page,

You rip the back of your socks while putting them on,

In a totally dark room, you can’t tell if your eyes are open or closed.

© Lenny Renz, 2026